July, 26,2019
Why is strengthening relationships a passion of mine? Well, for those who don't know my parents split when I was young. I consider myself fortunate because even though my parents split it didn't mean that my dad was absent from our lives. However, even with their best efforts it still had a deep impact on me. I'd say the biggest effect from it all was that I became extremely insecure with my friends and with the guys I dated. I always felt anxious because I thought "they will eventually leave me for someone better".
After lots of mistakes, fine-tuning and getting clear on what I wanted in a husband, I met Mike. In hindsight, I subconsciously thought he's going to fill my void and love me in such a way that it would push my insecurities out for good, WRONG. In my experience marriage has a way of magnifying everything that is already there, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I was so afraid of reliving the pain my mom experienced that if forced me to find ways to deal with my insecurities.
I believe God placed some amazing people in my life and opportunities that allowed me to see that I could create a marriage different from the one my parents experienced. I've learned that just because it feels hopeless, just because it feels like the end, doesn't mean it has to be. If WE as in YOU, not your spouse or someone else outside of you. If you decide to put in your best efforts, invest time and change YOUR mindset. You have the power to create something beautiful out of something that seems hopeless.
I don't have it all figured out in my marriage. I believe marriage & relationships are a constant journey. There is always room to grow, areas to strengthen, possibility and new areas to explore. I'm determined to keep finding new material, new ways, new resources, and experiences to support couples, families and those in a relationship. It's deeply embedded in me to help others find hope, faith, and joy with the ones they love. That's why I've chosen to make building and strengthening relationships a life long journey of mine. And if your reading this I hope that one day in some way I can bring hope. faith and joy to your relationships.
I learned the hard way that when it comes to relationships, people & circumstances don't just magically change.
I tried pointing out what the other person was doing wrong, demanding to be heard & even tried giving ultimatums. I don't think any of these options ever fully gave me the results I was hoping for.
I didn’t see change until I decided to apply the filter of courage. I flipped the mirror in my direction, looked for what I could adjust, how I could hear others & accepted the freedom that others have to choose their own path.
Ya, it was freaking scary & there was plenty of what if's. However, when I choose to move forward with hope while I'm giving MY best I feel a weight slowly being lifted...one choice at a time.
If you feel like you have exhausted all the options & are feeling discouraged. I'd say it's the perfect opportunity to flip the mirror. Why not start today.. how can you give your best while hoping for the best? ;)
November 2, 2018